So first thing. "Oooh on the TLC tip" is an awesome album. It is probably one of the first albums I've ever owned and it was one of the few I would listen to from beginning to end (partially because it was a cassette and that's how we did things back then) But that's not what I'm talking about here.
I have a confession to make. I am a lazy female friend-maker. Don't get me wrong, once we're friends, you're stuck with me, possibly for life. But actually making new friends, I'm awful. But here's the thing. I think all women are.
I've found that the closer I get to the big 3-0, the less I'm willing to go down the "Are you my friend or aren't you" road. If you are, we'll see eye to eye, argue infrequently and laugh often. That's what I'm looking for. Someone who's got my back and makes me smile. And I already have a great set of really fabulous girlfriends. They've been cultivated since elementary school. And adding new friends, specifically new CLOSE friends, sometimes just seems so tedious. I don't know your schedule, you don't know mine. Are you a coffee shop person? Do you do the whole "Oh the bill was $40? Well my food came up to $16.50 so here's $18.50 to cover tax and tip" thing? Do you exclusively hit on the most "just got out of jail yesterday" hoodrats in club when I'm out with you? ( You would be surprised). These are the things we need to learn about each other to become new good gfs.
So here is my Important "To become my friend" Checklist. All five have to be checked in order to join the ranks of the Dulciña Sisterhood:
1. Can we have a good time together in all formats (ie plays, bars, movies, bookstores, people watching, pole dancing classes, etc.)?
2. Am I willing to hang around you when you're drunk?
3. Will you leave me with that sketchy dude when I'm too.. umm enthusiastic about my spirits to know better? (yes that means happy, "text message to all the boys I've ever known" crazy drunk)
4. If you're gonna be wearing your hook a man/sex & the city dress, will you at least warn me to leave my sneakers at home?
5. When I say a dude broke my heart, will he instantly obtain eunuch status in your mind?
I wonder if it all really comes down to trust and common interests. Could it be as a single woman, I find other single women as competition? A little bit is healthy and I sure hope that's where I'm at. Although all the Newsweek, NY Times and 6 o'clock news purveyors want to tell me I'm unlikely to find a man, a husband, and Hell Nah on the soulmate front and seem to want us at each other's throats. Seriously, news reporters. I. HATE. YOU.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32379727/ns/health-sexual_health/t/marriage-eludes-high-achieving-black-women/
http://www.npr.org/2011/06/29/137499303/author-tells-black-women-marry-out-not-down
But could that really be in the way of me finding myself a few more, honest to goodness, lets drink wine, gab and perhaps a good cry soul sisters? I hope not. So to those ladies I've met recently, who I've vibed it. I mean it when I say lets grab brunch/a drink or whatever. I'm willing to step up my game if you are. It could be .... LEGENDARY.
Get Epic - Ex. We can go out for coffee this weekend. OR we can get epic and do bottomless all you can drink brunch followed bya supersoaker water fight in Central Park.
