Ludacris is dating a med school student. If ever my ridiculous love for him and my need to scream "LUDA" everytime i hear or see him needed justification, that tidbit is it.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Note to Self- LUDA!!!
Ludacris is dating a med school student. If ever my ridiculous love for him and my need to scream "LUDA" everytime i hear or see him needed justification, that tidbit is it.
Just in case the End of Days is Near...
In the past two weeks, I've had not one, not two, but more than a handful of friends tell me that if the Apocalypse was at hand, they would come looking to me to get them thru. Personally, I'll be looking for Will Smith.
But here are some possible explanations why. I'll start with the current contents of my car.
When I first got my car, I decided that I needed a runaway kit. Just in case I ever got stuck in the middle of nowhere and didn't want to hang around for the serial killer/rapist/weird truck driver/Freddy Kruger to come and pick me off quickly.
In this backpack (with wheels!) I have a:
Sheet (leopard print & tacky)
blanket (conserve body heat)
sneakers
Balla Sweatshirt (my G-2 ladies will appreciate that)
Sweatpants
Underwear & Socks
hand warmers
Flip Flops
Poncho
First Aid Kit
This amount of prep satisfied me for the first two years of owning my car. I have since acquired the following:
Three car jacks (completely unintentional but they're there nonetheless)
Fire extinguisher
Two Flashlights
Various toolkits
Lug Nut Cross Bar (also represents my main weapon)
Portable Heater
Beach Mat & Chair
Winter gloves w/ attached ice removers
Portable Purse (in a lovely all purpose grey)
Adult and Children Cutlery, Plates & Cups (including sporks)
Wireless Speaker
Kleenex w/ Lotion
Allergy, Indigestion & Vivarin pills
Vacuum
Four Umbrellas
An additional first aid kit
A wine opener
Papertowels
A carkey attachment that breaks window, cuts seatbelts, checks tire pressure and has a flashing light (in case I drive into a river by accident)
Bottled Water
Additional Wallet with $20
$10 in quarters
Lotion/Deodorant/Powder/Lipstick/Handwipes/Nail File/Tweezers/Air Freshener
Football & Frisbee (I've never used either)
A Disposable Grill (hey if I have the sudden urge to BBQ, I need to be prepared)
Looking at this entire list, I'm beginning to think... I may be crazy.
And I would be the Most Prepared Hobo ever.
The saddest part is that all of that is just for my car. We're not talking about my traveling supplies, all the accessories for my bicycle (which i don't know how to ride), and my rather ridiculous attachment to Lysol.
One day I'm destined to be a really great soccer mom... or that crazy cat lady.
But here are some possible explanations why. I'll start with the current contents of my car.
When I first got my car, I decided that I needed a runaway kit. Just in case I ever got stuck in the middle of nowhere and didn't want to hang around for the serial killer/rapist/weird truck driver/Freddy Kruger to come and pick me off quickly.
In this backpack (with wheels!) I have a:Sheet (leopard print & tacky)
blanket (conserve body heat)
sneakers
Balla Sweatshirt (my G-2 ladies will appreciate that)
Sweatpants
Underwear & Socks
hand warmers
Flip Flops
Poncho
First Aid Kit
This amount of prep satisfied me for the first two years of owning my car. I have since acquired the following:
Three car jacks (completely unintentional but they're there nonetheless)
Fire extinguisher
Two Flashlights
Various toolkits
Lug Nut Cross Bar (also represents my main weapon)Portable Heater
Beach Mat & Chair
Winter gloves w/ attached ice removers
Portable Purse (in a lovely all purpose grey)
Adult and Children Cutlery, Plates & Cups (including sporks)
Wireless Speaker
Kleenex w/ Lotion
Allergy, Indigestion & Vivarin pills
Vacuum
Four UmbrellasAn additional first aid kit
A wine opener
Papertowels
A carkey attachment that breaks window, cuts seatbelts, checks tire pressure and has a flashing light (in case I drive into a river by accident)
Bottled Water
Additional Wallet with $20
$10 in quarters
Lotion/Deodorant/Powder/Lipstick/Handwipes/Nail File/Tweezers/Air Freshener
Football & Frisbee (I've never used either)
A Disposable Grill (hey if I have the sudden urge to BBQ, I need to be prepared)
Looking at this entire list, I'm beginning to think... I may be crazy.
And I would be the Most Prepared Hobo ever.
The saddest part is that all of that is just for my car. We're not talking about my traveling supplies, all the accessories for my bicycle (which i don't know how to ride), and my rather ridiculous attachment to Lysol.
One day I'm destined to be a really great soccer mom... or that crazy cat lady.
One day imma be THAT crazy chick
One night, not too long ago, I was having a little discourse with some gentlemen when I said the following "Every woman, and I mean, EVERY woman, is three to four of YOUR bad decisions away from an episode of Snapped." (check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snapped) Basically, I was trying to tell them, that no matter how level headed, beautiful, educated, chill or any other adjective you would use to describe any woman, paragons included, we're all constantly struggling to downplay our crazy.
Here are some things that ALL people, male or female, still active in "the game" should know.
1. In this day and age, EVERYONE is google stalking. Some are more adept than others. (I rank around a 7.5). So for goodness sake, Google yourself regularly.
2. Don't give out your last name/email address/affiliated schools etc. if your uncomfortable with what people can learn about you.
3. For goodness sake, look into your facebook privacy settings. Don't holla at me in the club only to have me look you up on facebook and see that your relationship status is anything but single or NOT THERE. Please don't insult me by being bold in your unfaithfulness.
4. The above also goes for having your main profile pic being you and your boo all cuddled up.
5. Screen for the crazy. If you don't know him/her and you have things to lose (i.e. a significant other, your house, your professional cred) don't do them wrong until you can anticipate if they'll lose it in some epic Jerry Springer type manner. I know I'm easily stalkable, so I don't do people dirty.
6. Text message conversations/relationships (yeah, I know I'm a hater, but this is still a generalization) ARE NOT REAL. In fact, if you can never have a real phone conversation with the person, or only randomly in the middle of the day, thats a pretty good indication that your the sidepiece, intentional or otherwise.
7. Ask direct questions. I kid you not, I now, due to previous experiences, have to ask the following set of questions when I meet someone new "Are you married? Does anyone think they're married to you? Are you single? Does anyone think they're in a relationship with you? Do you have any kids? Is there anyone who would disagree with any of your previous answers?"
8. I think its fair to warn your new potential mates about the crazy exes lurking (potentially in the bushes) in your past. ESPECIALLY if this is a a recent crazy ex. We all have a couple of loose canons in our past, but if this person is still residing in your house/has access to your voicemail and email/cried about losing you last week, I want to know.
9. Be nice unless you cant be. Especially if you seen someone naked. A vindictive person is bad. A vindictive person with personal details or God Forbid, inappropriate Photos is EPIC FAIL WORTHY.
So I'm putting this all out there not because I've ever been this person. Honestly, I haven't. I try to be fairly classy in my dealings with people. My social networks are small and I know I'm running into people again. Call it self preservation. But oh my goodness, how I've plotted/imagined the downfall of one or two (or ten) people in my mind. And I've met THAT crazy chick/dude. Some of them were nice people. Some of them were attractive. All of them had been in "regular" and sometimes long-term relationships before. All of them shocked me with their elevated levels of crazy in real world settings.
So try not to taunt the hidden crazies. Try not to go down like that crazy chick/dude. Unless you have to. And if you do, and I love you, don't get caught and make sure you tell me all non criminally relevant details. It was probably his/her fault anyway. That's my official stance.
Here are some things that ALL people, male or female, still active in "the game" should know.
1. In this day and age, EVERYONE is google stalking. Some are more adept than others. (I rank around a 7.5). So for goodness sake, Google yourself regularly.
2. Don't give out your last name/email address/affiliated schools etc. if your uncomfortable with what people can learn about you.
3. For goodness sake, look into your facebook privacy settings. Don't holla at me in the club only to have me look you up on facebook and see that your relationship status is anything but single or NOT THERE. Please don't insult me by being bold in your unfaithfulness.
4. The above also goes for having your main profile pic being you and your boo all cuddled up.5. Screen for the crazy. If you don't know him/her and you have things to lose (i.e. a significant other, your house, your professional cred) don't do them wrong until you can anticipate if they'll lose it in some epic Jerry Springer type manner. I know I'm easily stalkable, so I don't do people dirty.
6. Text message conversations/relationships (yeah, I know I'm a hater, but this is still a generalization) ARE NOT REAL. In fact, if you can never have a real phone conversation with the person, or only randomly in the middle of the day, thats a pretty good indication that your the sidepiece, intentional or otherwise.
7. Ask direct questions. I kid you not, I now, due to previous experiences, have to ask the following set of questions when I meet someone new "Are you married? Does anyone think they're married to you? Are you single? Does anyone think they're in a relationship with you? Do you have any kids? Is there anyone who would disagree with any of your previous answers?"
8. I think its fair to warn your new potential mates about the crazy exes lurking (potentially in the bushes) in your past. ESPECIALLY if this is a a recent crazy ex. We all have a couple of loose canons in our past, but if this person is still residing in your house/has access to your voicemail and email/cried about losing you last week, I want to know.
9. Be nice unless you cant be. Especially if you seen someone naked. A vindictive person is bad. A vindictive person with personal details or God Forbid, inappropriate Photos is EPIC FAIL WORTHY.
So I'm putting this all out there not because I've ever been this person. Honestly, I haven't. I try to be fairly classy in my dealings with people. My social networks are small and I know I'm running into people again. Call it self preservation. But oh my goodness, how I've plotted/imagined the downfall of one or two (or ten) people in my mind. And I've met THAT crazy chick/dude. Some of them were nice people. Some of them were attractive. All of them had been in "regular" and sometimes long-term relationships before. All of them shocked me with their elevated levels of crazy in real world settings.
So try not to taunt the hidden crazies. Try not to go down like that crazy chick/dude. Unless you have to. And if you do, and I love you, don't get caught and make sure you tell me all non criminally relevant details. It was probably his/her fault anyway. That's my official stance.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)