My thirties are like a a Toby Keith song

"I'm not as good as I once was. But I'm as good ONCE as I ever was."

You ever hear a song and just immediately relate? I know 30 is not old. I really do. I make fun of myself, and call myself an old lady, but what I'm really saying is that I feel a sharp divide between where I'm at mentally now and where I was at 20, or even 25. And my brain, sense of humor, and indeed my body, are all chomping at the bit to let me know that "Hey, you're not 20 anymore." Here are just a few examples of how I know this. 

I used to be able to do this multiple times in a row

Dancing- I LOVE dancing. If you know me, you know this. There is nothing better than going out there, hearing your JAM and sweating out your hair like you've got nowhere to go tomorrow. BUT here's the thing. In college I was part of a dance group. In my senior year, I did a solo to Prince (cause c'mon that's awesome) and I launched myself off a chair, touched both my toes and landed in a split bounce. 

Take a moment and picture that. I jumped off a chair, touched my toes, and landed in a split bounce on the floor and then SWITCHED to bounce on the other side. I'm not sure, but that may be one of the proudest moments of my life.

I went out the other night to a birthday party, and they played Nellie’s “Drop Down and Get your Eagle on.” I got down, but before I did, I seriously took a moment to consider if I was gonna make it back up. It was closer call than I would have preferred. I recently lost a bet, which will require me to drop into a split bounce sometime soon in public. Let’s hope Toby Keith was right.

Health- I’m a baby when I’m sick. And I’ve been fortunate to not have had any really bad illnesses for years (including two years when I had no health insurance). But I swear, a few weeks after I turned thirty, I got heartburn for the very first time. I got it again a couple of weeks ago and it was so bad that I did a google search: the difference between heartburn and heart attacks. That’s where my head was at, it was so bad. Now I own multi-berry tums, and have to avoid Qdoba.

Drinking- So the other day, I came to the realization that I’m the chump who doesn’t drink hard liquor. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like I was whiskey/gin/scotch/bourbon chick in college. But now, with very minor exceptions (mojitos, anything with lychee, or trips to all-inclusive hotels) I NEVER choose to drink any hard alcohol. I am a draft beer, cider, wine and bottled corona type of girl. I’ve also gone to a bar and ordered hot tea (and was TOO excited when they told me they had peppermint). I don’t day drink unless I’m guaranteed a nap afterwards. As a college connoisseur of boxed wine, $4.99 handles of Dubra and foam parties, I’m a little ashamed of how “refined” I’ve become in old age.

Being inconvenienced – No one enjoys waiting. But man, was I willing back in my early 20’s. I waited on lines in heels in the cold for hours. I was always too cheap to pay for cabs to go anywhere.  I would visit friends and sleep on floors or share twin beds. 

(Side note: Seriously, how did we manage to get it on and share twin beds in college? The logistics alone baffle me now.) 

Yay, I don’t do any of the anymore. There’s nowhere I want to be so badly to wait hours. I will commit to do ONE of those parties twice a year, and usually only for very special occasion. Driving my car to parties is awesome. Cabs are awesome. Homeless people who smell and/or try to hit on you on the train at 3am: not so awesome. And I only stay with friends if a spare bed or comfy couch is guaranteed. Otherwise, hotels suites are sweet.  

I'm ok with not being that girl anymore. I miss her sometimes but, the beauty of it is, that every once in awhile, when the occasion merits it, she comes back. I'll open up and SHUT DOWN the club, in heels nonetheless. I've been known to rediscover my love of the jello shots. And because I am still rocking with the same crew for over 15 years, I know that when we get together, the night always has the possibility of getting EPIC. And if three or four of manage to crash on a twin bed at the end of night, out of pure exhaustion, we'll make it work. Like Toby says:

I still throw a few back, talk a little smack
When I'm feeling bullet proof
So don't double-dog dare me now
Cause I might have to call your bluff
I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good ONCE
As I ever was